Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Gold baby bracelets

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Can we talk after class? Maybe if I did something for extra credit?
Why cant death if we must have it be always glorious, as in The Iliad? Nowadays, death more often comes drooling on the toilet seat in the nursing home, or bleeding under the crushed roof of a teen-driven SUV, or breathless in a deluxe
hotel suite filled with empty drug bottles and a minor public figure whose celebrity expiration date has passed.
I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant haemorrhoid. What colour bracelet does one wear for that? And what slogan is apropos? Perhaps it can be embroidered around the ruffle on a cover for my embarrassing little doughnut buttocks pillow.
Then theres the matter of our debt to death for life as we know it. I believe in God. I also believe in evolution. If death werent around to finalise the Darwinian process, wed all still be amoebas


TEENAGER Laura White burst into tears yesterday because she is homesick.
The 17-year-old broke down at a press launch, hugging contestant Alexandra Burke for comfort.
The pretty brunette, from Bolton, also echoed Madonna by wearing a red Kabbalah-style bracelet to stave off bad energy.
An ITV1 insider said: Laura got herself in a tizz, she is really homesick and tired. But she has to pull herself together for the first live show on Saturday.




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